


The Veet Incident

by DesdemonaAngel



Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: A bottle of Veet is involved, Awesome Sarah, F/M, Humor, Mention of Manscaping, Misunderstandings, No Goblin Kings were damaged
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-30 23:24:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8553805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesdemonaAngel/pseuds/DesdemonaAngel
Summary: Jareth tries Manscaping with...mixed results.For Beets, because BKS Jareth would totally do this.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BeetleQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeetleQueen/gifts).



> Based off of this hilarious Amazon review.
> 
> https://www.pinterest.com/pin/233342824423196824/

The little tube Jareth held in his hand promised almost instant hair removal in the southern regions of his body in a short amount of time, leaving skin smoother than when one shaved. He could have just magicked it away but he wanted to show Sarah that he could--and would--function in the Aboveground since they’d become intimate. He’d found it stashed away in the back of Sarah’s medicine cabinet and had been intrigued.  

 

He’d learned to dress (Uhgh!), talk, and operate as well as any human could, now he thought, it was time to take care of the “Other” parts. The computer had explained many things in regards to this topic. He’d waited until she’d fallen asleep to sneak into the apartment's bathroom and try it out. He wanted to surprise her the next time they made love; the fantasy he’d already concocted in his mind promised as much as he dared to think on it. Her look of surprise, then pleasure, and finally seduction.

 

Once he uncapped the tube though he had some doubts. The smell was about that of rotten eggs. Surely that would be a turnoff for her he thought inspecting the cream dubiously as he squirted some out onto his hand. Then again he could always fix that later. He squirted a more generous dollop of the cream onto his hand and went to work

 

* * *

  


It was about four in the morning when Sarah woke up to a commotion coming from her kitchen. Quickly grabbing the baseball bat by her bedside she crept out into the hallway. Sounds of muffled curses and groaning were definitely coming from the kitchen. She peeked around the corner.

 

There was someone bend over with her carton of Rocky Road ice cream between his legs. The only reason she knew that was because she could clearly see that the intruder was naked from the waist down. Great, now I have a weirdo pervert in my house, she thought readying her bat. Stealthily as she could she came from around the corner to stand behind the man ready to knock his lights out when she noticed his oddly familiar tufts of blond hair.   

 

“Jareth?”

 

From his position on the floor, Jareth shot up with a yelp of surprise, dropping the mostly melted carton of Rocky Road ice cream that was now dripping sadly off of his chemically burned Who-Ha’s and spun around trying to cover himself with the old T-shirt he wore as a nightshirt.

 

“What the--” Sarah started looking over the scene confused, lowering her bat.

 

“Cream! Burning! Tried to be quiet! Oh Gods Sarah the stuff went in my arse!” he whimpered rocking back and forth on his heels in pain. For a moment she just stood there, staring. Then a sound escaped Sarah's mouth, then another that sounded like a snort. She had to look away from him, it was just too much. The entire thing was just too damned much to handle as waves of stomach clenching laughter burst out of her. She had to brace herself against the door frame she was laughing so hard from it.

 

Jareth on the other hand was looking far from pleased.

 

“Sarah!”

 

“I--I’m so sorry! I ca--can’t believe you--why didn’t you jump in the shower?” she wheezed.

 

“I tried! I ended up clogging the drain with hair!” he explained which just sent her over the edge in a whole new way. Finally though Sarah was able to get a hold of herself enough to escort her misguided love from hopping around the kitchen back up stairs to the bathroom where she cleaned out the sink drain and helped him rinse of the rest of the Veet creme from his extremities, all the while laughing like mad. Jareth later chucked the tube of Veet into the Bog with a royal curse to boot.

 

Needless to say, Jareth also stuck to magic for obvious reasons after that.


End file.
